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Three generations of my family celebrated Christmas together in Vermont this year. We made gingerbread houses and gingerbread canoes; we sang and played the piano; we played hide-and-seek with all the cousins – and my goodness, did we get snow! Not just a white Christmas, but a wild two-day storm that left us snowbound.
Candle in the snow – my sister-in-law’s beautiful idea
I came back from that trip wondering what resolutions I should make for 2013. GROW was my word for 2012, and it served me well. I did all kinds of things that stretched me: going on writing retreats, traveling to New York, writing a fast second draft of book two. (Who knew? I turned out to love retreats, I had a great time in New York, and I’m very proud of book two.)
For all kinds of reasons, 2013 is another big year for me, especially on the writing front. Chantress is published in May – and before the end of the year I also need to revise the second Chantress book and write as much of the third book as I possibly can. I’ve never had such tight deadlines before, and I worry about burning out.
So what’s my goal for 2013?
To be honest, the word SURVIVE occurred to me — right around the same time I went down with the flu. But while I was recovering, another and much happier phrase occurred to me:
FILL THE WELL.
That sounds easy enough, but if I’m honest, I know it’s not: Sleep, for instance, is something that fills the well, and yet I’m always tempted to short myself on it. I reach 8pm, and instead of winding down I gear up for just another page or writing, or a few more emails, or one last look at Facebook. I start thinking I’m on American time (never mind that I live in Britain). But after just few days of that, I’m drained. So getting to bed at a reasonable hour is something I’m committed to this year.
There are other habits, too, that I need to work on, especially with Chantress coming out. After the long, quiet years of working away on a story, it’s startling to have it out there in the world. Hearing from readers who loved the book is a joy, but there are plenty of worries, too. Will reviewers like Chantress? Will it do well? It’s hard not to fret about those questions. And these days, with the web ready to hand, it’s all too easy to try and find answers.
But here’s what I’ve noticed: Even when the answers are good, those questions don’t help me write. And writing is what I need to do. Not just because I have contracts and deadlines, but because writing is what centers me. Playing with words, plunging into the dark cave of a story and finding my way out: These things make me feel more alive.
So I’ve started timing my internet use, and when I’m tempted to self-Google, I’m pulling up a story file, or writing in my journal instead. When inspiration palls, I’m trying to do something real: play the piano, or bake muffins, or go for a walk with a friend – whatever makes me feel rested and balanced and able to give more to my work and to others.
Yes, there are deadlines. Yes, I have a book coming out. But I’m going to try and fill the well now, and not wait till it runs dry.
Fountain in winter, Oxford Botanical Garden
I love this, especially: “Even when the answers are good, those questions don’t help me write. And writing is what I need to do.”
I hope you are able to keep your well filled this year. It sounds like you have a great start!
Thanks, Deva! It’s funny how you can know something isn’t good for you, and yet do it anyway. I started using Firefox’s LeechBlock at the start of the year, and I’ve downloaded the “Mind the Time” as an extra way to keep myself honest.
Wishing you a great 2013!
“These things make me feel more alive.”
This speaks right to the heart, Amy. What a wise feeling to listen to!
Thanks for the inspiration of your year of filling the well. I hope we will hear more about how that manifests for you…but not at the expense of sleep! 😉
And I’m so glad you had that beautiful time with your family over the holidays. It sounds like it filled your well with much love, fun, and hugs.
Oh, and I love the candle in the snow. Happy 2013 to you! xoxo
Lorraine, you are always one of my inspirations when it comes to listening to the heart. I hope the year brings you many moments to savor and much joy. Happy 2013! xoxo
I love thinking of you by that well. It’s a beautiful image, though I know it will be hard to keep. Or maybe I just know it’s hard for me to keep. You’ve set the bar well over survival, but if anyone can keep to such a theme, it will be you. And I’ve glad you’ve got lovely allies in the house. There is nothing quite like a child to remind us of what’s important and ways to feel centered. What joy to be asked to read a book aloud!
Hard for me to keep, too! But yes, there is nothing like family to keep us centered. Speaking of which, Sweetpea and I are going to a storytelling workshop this afternoon; she is SO excited that we are going together. I am so lucky to have her. Hope the new year is being good to you, too, and that it brings you much delight!
Beautiful candle in the snow! I’m so glad you had that visit. Thank you for your very wise words, I do admire your self-discipline. Though I must say that making muffins definitely does not rest me–makes me hurt all over, actually. I still do it every 16 days, got to have those bran muffins!
Oh, Kit, I’m so sorry to hear that making muffins is painful! I have times when baking hurts, too, which frustrates me no end. Lately, though, I’ve found it much easier, and on rough days my mixer is a huge help. I’m hoping things get easier for you, too — and in the meantime, I wish I could come and mix up those bran muffins with you!
Stephen Covey called it Sharpening the Saw but I love the Filling the Well.
I’d forgotten all about Sharpening the Saw! Thanks for the reminder. Though I have to admit that Filling the Well works better as a metaphor for me.